Hullo.. You've reached Sam's blog. I'm sure you'll find something you like. I only have cool stuff here. Probably Marble Hornets. You should ask me about Marble Hornets... If you get bored, you could check out my Twitter or read some of the fanfiction I've written. There might be some links below. You'll find out that I'm really interesting. Sometimes I go outside and stuff.

 

Okay but serious question: should I scrap my entire monologue and write a different one because the one I have right now is not good and ughhh

Anonymous asked
Wouldn't that be weird to like get your braces caught in some one elses? It'd be like that duct tape prank but internal. I'm probably so wrong but you can't blame me because I've never had braces

Probably. I wouldn’t know. Never had braces either.

Anonymous asked
Waiwaiwaiwaiwait.... When have you gotten stuck in some one's teeth? Are there specific instances? Were you kissing some one with braces??

That was just following the Raisin Bran analogy. You know? Because Raisin Bran gets stuck in your molars and it’s difficult to brush out sometimes and haha you think I kiss people. Good one. Nice.

Anonymous asked
Okay not to be mean but raisins aren't interesting they're fucking disgusting.

I understand. You found paradise in unhealthy foods, you had a good trade, you made a good living. Your metabolism protected you and there were other sugary cereals. You didn’t need a friend like raisins. But, now you come to me, and you say: “Sam, give me your opinion.” But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my blog on the day my daughter is to be married, and you tell me this shit.